nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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