i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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