The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
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I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
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Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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