i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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