You really coming over, don't trick.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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