census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize