I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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