I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
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do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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