So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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