i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
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