my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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