Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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