worst night to have a conscience
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
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How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
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There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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