forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Even my vagina gasped.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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