Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize