i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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