Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize