weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
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I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
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I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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