yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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