I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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