Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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