if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize