she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
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Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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