so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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