We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
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its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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