sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
only you would photoshop your dick
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize