wrigley field is MILF paradise
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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