I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize