Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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