The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
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At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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