she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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