If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize