Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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