So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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