i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
His nipple licking is glorious
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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