Im at strip club and am horny
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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