My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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