I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
foreskin is a definite game changer
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize