i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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