I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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