My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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