Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
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I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
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He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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