Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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