He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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