My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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