Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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