whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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