i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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