You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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