I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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